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Old 11-29-2012, 11:21 PM   #1
iburke
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You are an old fart if...

If you remember when health insurance was optional, you are an old fart.
If you are polite to strangers, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever changed a typewriter ribbon, you are an old fart.
If there was only one fat kid in your class, you are an old fart.
If you think “Occupy” is a verb and not a noun, you are an old fart.
If you just want to be left alone, you are an old fart.
If you remember when only sailors had tattoos, you are an old fart.
If you remember when civil rights meant equal rights, not reverse discrimination, you are an old fart.
If you’ve never uploaded naked photographs of yourself, you are an old fart.
If you know how to spell, you are an old fart.
If you ever waited to hear your favorite song on the radio, you are an old fart.
If you remember when being radical meant hating the government, rather than relying on it, you are an old fart.
If you know how to get there better than that GPS contraption, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever felt shame, you are an old fart.
If you still feel a twinge of dread seeing a phone number with a lot of “9″s and “0″s, you are an old fart.
If you think a nice warm day is just a nice warm day and not proof of impending doom, you are an old fart.
If you ever paid for your own condoms, you are an old fart.
If you know how to fix mechanical devices, you are an old fart.
If the phrase “turn of the century” makes you think of the year 1900, you are an old fart.
If you remember when Top Gun actually sat in the plane, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever bought something with cash, you are an old fart.
If you don’t go all the way on the first date, you are an old fart.
If you remember when being a Democrat meant being anti-communist, you are an old fart.
If you remember when “books” were made of paper, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever played pinball, you are an old fart.
If you remember when sex scandals would ruin a starlet’s career, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever gotten on an airplane without first being searched, you are an old fart.
If you even know the meaning of the word “bipartisan,” you are an old fart.
If you you don’t have a Facebook page, you are an old fart.
If you do have a MySpace page, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever used the word “gay” to mean carefree or joyous, you are an old fart.
If you kept a few leftover French francs and German marks the last time you visited Europe, you are an old fart.
If you think self-esteem is earned rather than a birthright, you are an old fart.
If you remember when the media at least pretended to be impartial, you are an old fart.
If you ever ate at Sambo’s, you are an old fart.
If you still have some bell-bottom pants way back in your closet from the first time they were cool, you are an old fart.
If you remember when every quarter had an eagle on the back, you are an old fart.
If you hold the door open for ladies, you are an old fart.
If you remember when tech support answered without an accent, you are an old fart.
If you remember when being on welfare was embarrassing, you are an old fart.
If you know what VHS stands for, you are an old fart.
If you admire successful people, you are an old fart.
If you know what “the blue dress” refers to, you are an old fart.
If a teacher ever smacked you on the knuckles with a ruler, you are an old fart.
If you think school should be taught in English, you are an old fart.
If you still think music comes on these black vinyl disks called “records,” you are an old fart.
If you played with toy guns when you were a kid, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever visited a public library, you are an old fart.
If you remember when Apple was a small struggling company, you are an old fart.
If your debate coach taught you to see both sides of an argument, you are an old fart.
If you still have some of those 8-track tapes in the garage, you are an old fart.
If you love your country, you are an old fart.
If you remember when budgets were measured in billions, not trillions, you are an old fart.
If you want to go back to measuring budgets in billions like we used to, you are really an old fart.
If you remember when campus revolutionaries fought against The Man, and weren’t yet The Man themselves, you are an old fart.
If you’d welcome a death panel at this stage, frankly, you are an old fart.
If you actually paid off your mortgage, you are an old fart
If you tried to copy Evel Kneivel with your Stingray bike, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever owned an encyclopedia, you are an old fart.
If you remember singing Christmas songs in public school, you are an old fart.
If you ever smoked a cigarette on an airplane, you are an old fart.
If you still think there are only two genders, you are an old fart.
If you ever used a phone booth, you are an old fart.
If you still haven’t quite gotten the hang of Pong, you are an old fart.
If you ever ate candy cigarettes, you are an old fart.
If you ever got out of the car to open the garage door, you are an old fart.
If you ever judged people by the content of their character, you are an old fart.
If you ever turned a knob to change the station, you are an old fart.
If you ever signed your name with a fountain pen, you are an old fart.
If you ever looked something up in a card catalog, you are an old fart.
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I can't tell if I'm dealing well with life these days or I just don't give a shit any more.
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Old 11-30-2012, 12:00 AM   #2
djsroknrol
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This Vette was a long time comin'....

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Old 11-30-2012, 03:25 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iburke View Post
If you remember when the media at least pretended to be impartial, you are an old fart.
.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by iburke View Post
If you ever ate at Sambo’s, you are an old fart.
.....
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Old 11-30-2012, 06:27 AM   #4
The Torch
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Us old farts are a force to be reckoned with
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RACING...Because with baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and golf, you only need one ball

I used to think that I had learned patience as I got older. Then I realized that I just didn't give a shit
Old 11-30-2012, 06:46 AM   #5
matchframe
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Quote:
If you remember when civil rights meant equal rights, not reverse discrimination, you are an old fart.
This is very true!!
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Old 11-30-2012, 07:17 AM   #6
fyreline
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Damn it, I hit nearly every marker. Oh, well. Wear your old coot badge with pride.
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Old 11-30-2012, 07:31 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by fyreline View Post
Damn it, I hit nearly every marker. Oh, well. Wear your old coot badge with pride.
Yup. Me too. Here's to Old Fart Power.
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:55 AM   #8
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Hit every mark and some more than once
My kids asked me once if I played Frisbee golf as a kid. When I asked them why,..........they found my collection of 45's in the garage

Guess I have fallen into this class, as I still remember having to "Dial" the phone to get a operator who lives in the same town and speaks English to get a local telephone number.
.....soda pop was only served in glass bottles, from behind the drug store counter.
.....Kick the Can was a neighborhood event, and "cloud characters" were found in the sky after laying out in the fresh cut grass, not a result of smoking

Us "Old Farts" need to stick together
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:54 AM   #9
Enginerd
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Wait a sec... I'm a yes on nearly every one of them (my negatives were basically only on the ones that have to do with flying; I've never been in a commercial airplane since I come from a poor family and there has never been a need), so I'm evidently a 34 year old fart. Guess I was born in the wrong generation.
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Old 11-30-2012, 11:35 AM   #10
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Everything except signing with a fountain pen. but boy did I get in a ton of trouble making messes of myself and things with them.

And no stashed bell bottoms, they were all worn out years ago.


To "Old Farts"......
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Smithers, unleash the hounds!
Edelbrock E-Force 1593 & Magnaflow exhaust for that healthy American sound. Before SC 354 RWHP, after SC 484 RWHP. That's all I can do and still pass California smog.
Old 11-30-2012, 06:32 PM   #11
Bob88
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Yup, done 99% of them, some more than once.
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1988 Competition Yellow convertible

Florida muscle car guys click
here

Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

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Old 11-30-2012, 08:43 PM   #12
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I put a dent in so many things on your list,

I can't fart.
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Old 11-30-2012, 11:09 PM   #13
iburke
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Here is to all my friends in the club...
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I can't tell if I'm dealing well with life these days or I just don't give a shit any more.
Old 12-01-2012, 05:24 AM   #14
KennyGS
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Wow! What a great list. It made me chuckle over and over.

Another one I thought of is if you remember when "tabs" on soda (pop) cans were completely pulled off, and not just bent back.
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Old 12-01-2012, 10:22 PM   #15
iburke
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Quote:
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Wow! What a great list. It made me chuckle over and over.

Another one I thought of is if you remember when "tabs" on soda (pop) cans were completely pulled off, and not just bent back.
Yep I remember we had a bachelor pad on the beach in San Diego with a curtain that we made from the tab tops. That was back in ... Oh never mind.
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I can't tell if I'm dealing well with life these days or I just don't give a shit any more.
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