how to be a ricer

[bomberman85]

a post on streetfire i thought was funny


how to be a Ricer

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AKA C4Power
HOW TO BE A RICER
Pronounce N.O.S. as one word (NAWS).
When you are outpowered, call people out with your friends car.
Have an aftermarket body kit installed
Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car.
Use an aftermarket tachometer...when your car already has a working stock tachometer in it.
You must install a non-functional wing/spoiler on the back and front of your car.
Names of performance parts on your car that you dont have.
Claim to beat cars that your car is totally uncapable of beating.
Install racing seats on a car that runs a 16 second or slower quarter mile.
List stereo equiptment or any visual mod when listing all your performance mods.
Believe that Honda invented VTEC.
Putting sub-brand labels on your car...example:Honda emblems on an Acura, Toyota on a Lexus..ect.
Install an aftermarket duel-exhaust on a 4-cylinder.
Make your exhaust sound like a weed-wacker
Buy a nitrous system just to purge.
Using car donughts and calling them "skinnies".
Mounting smaller tires to decrease gear ratio.
Multi collored body panels.
Claiming horse power and quarter mile times with out testing or proof.
Talk about how fast your car will be once you buy and install all the parts.
Fliping your hazard lights,during/after a loss or during a flyby
Say you lost because your car is running on a shitty tune and needs to be tuned.......... when you're on the stock computer...
rev @ every car on the road that will eat you(no matter what direction they are going)
If some challenges you 2 a race you have 2 options
a.race and when you lose go to ws and lie your ass off
b.tell em they are a waste of time
my clutch is slipping,i missed a gear,my vtec was set to low,
when the vinyl work is worth more than the car,
when someone does a neutral drop in an automatic,
bouncing off the revlimiter more than once
I started in 2nd intstead of 1st
My shift light went off late
I didnt catch posi trac on that one
Law#43-my strut bar snapped
my neonlight valve stem covers are robbing hp
I didnt double clutch like i should have
When the exhaust consist of coat hangers and jb weld
Yeah its got about 5000 dollars invested in it ( and it looks like shit)
Its a prototype that no one has (built from duct tape and blue glue and pvc piping)
driving in and out of traffic with your Integra thinking you have a fast car
Getting your #s from a g-tech or some other similar meter.
using chicken wire as a mesh grill
Having gauges that do not work
Having a body kit and no plans on painting it
When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 100 mph
"Yeah its VTEC, but its not hooked up yet"
When you consider primer as a color choice
When you tell people it has a 9000 rpm redline and can only turn 6700
if you talk about owning a skyline someday and you drive a civic
having windshield washer squirters with lights in them
You refer as everything being JDM
Tell people you are running nitrous,when its really N.O.S. octane booster.
taking your 50whp civic to a dyno when it's stock
When you manually shift an automatic
Going to the dragstrip with slicks and running a 16.05 in the 1/8
All you do is brag about how much of a street racer you are
When your car consist of a GTR badge on the car and is not a skyline
you claim your car is fast then get butthurt so you claim your car is an autoX car.
you post pics of your parents car and claim it for you own
when your car has more torque in the lug nuts than in the motor
list winshield wipers as a mod and carbon fiber pedals
When you transform your car into something else with a headlight swap and taillight swap
When someone asks you if its mandrel bent or crush piping and you have no answer
When you stick the rim and tire out further than the fenders and you use curb feelers to keep from messing them up.
when your body kit is held on by sheet rock screws and thumb tacks
If you "fat arm" out the window with a sideways cap.
If you are 5'2 and you drive in the back seat
If you have to beg your parents to drive the civic
when you de-badge your GST ecplise of LX civic because its the suck model
windshield sticker saying powered by....(127 @the crank yeah thats power)
You remove every piece of your interior and you still run 15's
you have diamond plate floormats
you have a racing harness on your stock civic lx seat
you make your own intake out of pvc pipe
you know what jdm means
you have hubcaps that resemble rims
you drive any korean car and "mod" it
if you put 18, 19, or 20" rims on a sport compact.
Japanese writing on a domestic car
Put racing gas in ur stock civic lx
If you spraypaint your interior
if you don't make fun of ricers
If you are getting angry while reading this list
the local tow truck service is on speed dial
put lambo doors on
You join CLUBRSX , not to goof on them, but because you actually think they are fast
Calling your flat, bald street tires "Slicks"
you drive in 1st gear 90% of the time so you can hear the vtec whine
you have a bumper sticker that says drive it like you stole it
your keychain says aem/tanabe/greddy/typeR/si/mugen/....
you play nfsu2 everyday
you try to spell as many words linked to honda with your alphabets cereal
You treat your nfsu2 car like its a real car
Type-R
I will own you in the twisties
You have a V6 camaro/mustang and spend enough money to buy a V8 just to make people think it's a V8.
You've ever swung in behind a car (at 50 mph) in an attempt to draft.
When you lose you say "But your car has 4 more cylinders"
when you lose you say "Imagine if Honda made an engine as big as yours, because my 4 cylindler has 100 HP/Liter!"
You think you stand a chance against all Mustangs and Camaro's because they are heavy
You have a Vin Diesel poster
You buy a civic, add a cold air intake and cat back exhaust, add 200 lbs of stereo equipment and brag about how much faster it is than when it was stock.
You try explaining why vtec is better than a turbo charger
You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it
If you know you can't win, you dump the clutch at 8,000 RPM's and say you couldn't hook up, but at least you looked cool
The only 2 exotic cars you can name are Supra and Skyline.
You put slicks on your car and only agree to race in the rain, just so you have an excuse.
If you tell the story of how your friend has such a fast car, he put a $10 bill on the dash, floored it, and you couldn't reach it on the dash because you were too pinned in your seat.
When you claim to race a stock automatic cobra.
When your cardomain site has a 'future mods' list.When you can shoot a grapefruit from your exhaust tip
LED exhaust tips.
When you have NOS seat covers.
When you have competitve races with cars- that dont know they are racing.
Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green.
Form opinions on cars you know nothing about.
Walmart is your #1 Auto Parts Supplier.
when you scream VTAK out the window cause you think it makes the car faster.
starting a poll about who would win in a race before you race

[mop423]

[Loggins]

[Derek88]

Originally posted by bomberman85
You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it

"I would have beat you, but my stickers have faded."

[stanleyp]

Add to the list:
If it's applied using double-sided tape and it's at Pep Boys, you buy it.

[Patrick]

Nothing new in that list. I think we've seen all the ricer humor there is.

Maybe that means we can finally stop talking about them?

[bomberman85]

Originally posted by Patrick
Nothing new in that list. I think we've seen all the ricer humor there is.

Maybe that means we can finally stop talking about them?

nah, its too great

[raidmagic]

When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 100 mph



Isn't that how the BSM's on C-5's are put on? Oh yea don't forget the fender flares on the GS. Can we stop the ricer crap yet?

[SC-Razor]

Originally posted by raidmagic
When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 100 mph



Isn't that how the BSM's on C-5's are put on? Oh yea don't forget the fender flares on the GS. Can we stop the ricer crap yet?

I don't know, but I would appreciate it if you would refrain from using the word "crap".

[raidmagic]

Originally posted by SC-Razor
I don't know, but I would appreciate it if you would refrain from using the word "crap".

Shit I'm sorry!

[Z06Newbie]

II take no credit for the artistry... just for the repost:

[bomberman85]

^^^^^

[Parrot Bay Z]

I'm not sure what's worse, being any of those items on that list, or actually reading all of them!!

BTW, some Vette owners are guilty of some of those as well!!

[Flooznie]

No...........this is how to be a ricer

http://videos.streetfire.net/Player....2F9AE359C1&p=0

Paul

[sidepipe79]

Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car

Sorry EFI-1 your rice