Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums - Reply to Topic
 
 
Go Back   Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums > Other Discussions/Topics > Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge > DC Joke Thread [Rjent-73Vettegirl]
Register Forums Garage Garage Mark Forums Read Auto EscrowInsurance Advertise

Notices

Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge Welcome to our seriously OFF TOPIC discussion forum section! Open 24-hours a day since 2003.

Shops/Tuners
Custom Image Corvettes
A&A Corvette
Corvette tuner

Interior
Corvette aftermarket products

Insurance



Parts & Products
Race Ramps
Edelbrock
ATI/Procharger
Corvetteguys.com
Melrose Motorsports
Parts Taxi
Airaid
Pfadt Racing
Madvette Motorsports
Hi-tech Custom Concepts
Corvette Garage
Corvette Parts and Accessories
Corvette Car Care Products
Corvette HID

Tracks/Schools
Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving
Corvette driving school

Wheels/Tires
Cray Wheels

Services
BADWERKS.com
Thread: DC Joke Thread [Rjent-73Vettegirl] Reply to Thread
Title:
  
Message:
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (12 CHARACTERS MAXIMUM), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:
City / State / Country?
Where you live
What kind of Corvette(s) do you own?
This field is not required.
Insurance
Please select your insurance company (Optional)

Log-in


Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

Topic Review (Newest First)
12-07-2009 07:48 PM
73VetteGirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
Good one.
Bite me Bob!!


Mr. sfallison...
12-07-2009 06:55 PM
Bob88
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfallison View Post
During a recent password audit, it was found that 73Vettegirl was using the following password:

MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyLouieDeweyDonaldPlu toIndianapolis

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that, "it had to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."

Good one.
12-07-2009 02:13 PM
rjent
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfallison View Post
During a recent password audit, it was found that 73Vettegirl was using the following password:

MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyLouieDeweyDonaldPlu toIndianapolis

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that, "it had to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."
12-07-2009 01:17 PM
sfallison During a recent password audit, it was found that 73Vettegirl was using the following password:

MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyLouieDeweyDonaldPlu toIndianapolis

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that, "it had to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."
12-05-2009 08:52 AM
Bob88 73 was on a commuter train reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and asked, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?" "Really," he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"

12-05-2009 08:18 AM
73VetteGirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by BASSIST View Post
"Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona .."


That might be the only way Bob gets any.
12-04-2009 09:32 PM
BASSIST
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

12-04-2009 09:28 PM
BASSIST
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
I thought this thread died a long time ago.
I had to dig back a few pages to even find this thread to post that one
12-04-2009 08:41 PM
Bob88 At a sexual assault trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer, After reading the note the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it along to the rest of the jurors.

One juror, iburke, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to screw you like you've never been screwed before."

iburke smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket. "Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the judge.

"I can't, Your Honor," iburke answered. "It's personal."

12-04-2009 06:31 PM
Bob88 Rjent and Bassist meet after not having seen each other for many months. Rjent asks Bassist, "How have things been going?"

Bassist speaking very slowly replied, "I.. w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d...."

Rjent says in amazement, "Hey, you don't stutter any more, that's great."

Bassist says "Y..e..s, .. I w..e..n..t t..o a.. d..o..c..t..o..r ..a..n..d . .h..e ..t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t if I.. ..s..p..e..a..k ..s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l ..n..o..t ..s..t..u..t..t..e..r....."

Rjent congratulates him and then asks again about how he was almost married.

"W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n ..h..e..r ..p..o..r..c..h a..n..d .. t..h..e ..d..o..g ..w..a..s ..s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a..n..d, I ..t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..a..n d..o.. ...t..h..a..t... ...f..o..r ...m..e A..n..d t..h..e..n.... s..h..e s..l..a..p..p..e..d.... m..e a..n..d... t..h..r..e..w t..h..e ..r..i..n..g i..n... m..y ..f..a..c..e."

"Why should she do that? wasn't she a romantic type?" asks Rjent?

"W..e..l..l, S..h..e w..a..s..! B..U..T.. ..I . .s..p..e..a..k ..s..o . .s..l..o..w..l..y ..t..h..a..t, ..b..y ..t..h..e ..t..i..m..e ..s..h..e ..l..o..o..k..e..d ..a..t t..h..e ..d..o..g,. ...h..e ..w..a..s ..p...e...e...i..n..g ..o..n ..a.. ..p..o..l..e!"

12-04-2009 05:55 PM
iburke
Quote:
Originally Posted by rjent View Post
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a 73vettegirl, with a baby in her arms , entered bob88's butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally bob offered to provide 73vettegirl with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

Bob had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," Bob said with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told 73vettegirl.

73vettegirl nodded and said, "Exotix, go back to the butcher shop and tell Bob I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries from Iburke's store for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"



Take that Bob...
12-04-2009 03:39 PM
rjent Bob88 hasn't spoken to 73vettegirl in 18 months - he doesn't like to interrupt her.
12-04-2009 03:26 PM
rjent It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a 73vettegirl, with a baby in her arms , entered bob88's butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally bob offered to provide 73vettegirl with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

Bob had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," Bob said with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told 73vettegirl.

73vettegirl nodded and said, "Exotix, go back to the butcher shop and tell Bob I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries from Iburke's store for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

12-04-2009 02:51 PM
iburke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

12-04-2009 02:39 PM
rjent
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

This thread has more than 15 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:31 PM.




Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
© 2003-2011, DigitalCorvettes.com - All Rights Reserved