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Old 12-04-2009, 01:45 PM   #2296
rjent
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
I thought this thread died a long time ago.
No, apparently just you ...
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All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

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Old 12-04-2009, 02:34 PM   #2297
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Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

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1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 12-04-2009, 02:39 PM   #2298
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Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

rjent is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

Tell everyone about your car!

30 years of Corvette ownership
Old 12-04-2009, 02:51 PM   #2299
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

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If life gets any better, I don't know if I can handle it.
Old 12-04-2009, 03:26 PM   #2300
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It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a 73vettegirl, with a baby in her arms , entered bob88's butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally bob offered to provide 73vettegirl with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

Bob had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," Bob said with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told 73vettegirl.

73vettegirl nodded and said, "Exotix, go back to the butcher shop and tell Bob I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries from Iburke's store for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

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All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

Tell everyone about your car!

30 years of Corvette ownership
Old 12-04-2009, 03:39 PM   #2301
rjent
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Bob88 hasn't spoken to 73vettegirl in 18 months - he doesn't like to interrupt her.
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All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

Tell everyone about your car!

30 years of Corvette ownership
Old 12-04-2009, 05:55 PM   #2302
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rjent View Post
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a 73vettegirl, with a baby in her arms , entered bob88's butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally bob offered to provide 73vettegirl with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

Bob had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," Bob said with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told 73vettegirl.

73vettegirl nodded and said, "Exotix, go back to the butcher shop and tell Bob I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries from Iburke's store for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"



Take that Bob...
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If life gets any better, I don't know if I can handle it.
Old 12-04-2009, 06:31 PM   #2303
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Rjent and Bassist meet after not having seen each other for many months. Rjent asks Bassist, "How have things been going?"

Bassist speaking very slowly replied, "I.. w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d...."

Rjent says in amazement, "Hey, you don't stutter any more, that's great."

Bassist says "Y..e..s, .. I w..e..n..t t..o a.. d..o..c..t..o..r ..a..n..d . .h..e ..t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t if I.. ..s..p..e..a..k ..s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l ..n..o..t ..s..t..u..t..t..e..r....."

Rjent congratulates him and then asks again about how he was almost married.

"W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n ..h..e..r ..p..o..r..c..h a..n..d .. t..h..e ..d..o..g ..w..a..s ..s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a..n..d, I ..t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..a..n d..o.. ...t..h..a..t... ...f..o..r ...m..e A..n..d t..h..e..n.... s..h..e s..l..a..p..p..e..d.... m..e a..n..d... t..h..r..e..w t..h..e ..r..i..n..g i..n... m..y ..f..a..c..e."

"Why should she do that? wasn't she a romantic type?" asks Rjent?

"W..e..l..l, S..h..e w..a..s..! B..U..T.. ..I . .s..p..e..a..k ..s..o . .s..l..o..w..l..y ..t..h..a..t, ..b..y ..t..h..e ..t..i..m..e ..s..h..e ..l..o..o..k..e..d ..a..t t..h..e ..d..o..g,. ...h..e ..w..a..s ..p...e...e...i..n..g ..o..n ..a.. ..p..o..l..e!"

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1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 12-04-2009, 08:41 PM   #2304
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At a sexual assault trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer, After reading the note the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it along to the rest of the jurors.

One juror, iburke, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to screw you like you've never been screwed before."

iburke smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket. "Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the judge.

"I can't, Your Honor," iburke answered. "It's personal."

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1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 12-04-2009, 09:28 PM   #2305
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I thought this thread died a long time ago.
I had to dig back a few pages to even find this thread to post that one
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Old 12-04-2009, 09:32 PM   #2306
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Rjent visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?”

“Look, I can’t prescribe anything…”

“Doc, we’ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I’m desperate! I can’t think; I can’t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You’ve got to help me.”

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”

“I don’t know, doc. She’s awfully cold.”

“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”

“Um… okay.” Rjent thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste he pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes… he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I need a man…”

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me too"

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Old 12-05-2009, 08:18 AM   #2307
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"Not exactly ... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona .."


That might be the only way Bob gets any.
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Old 12-05-2009, 08:52 AM   #2308
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73 was on a commuter train reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and asked, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?" "Really," he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"

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1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 12-07-2009, 01:17 PM   #2309
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During a recent password audit, it was found that 73Vettegirl was using the following password:

MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyLouieDeweyDonaldPlu toIndianapolis

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that, "it had to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."
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S.F. Allison

I am Shakespeare of Borg - Prepare to be or not to be
Old 12-07-2009, 02:13 PM   #2310
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfallison View Post
During a recent password audit, it was found that 73Vettegirl was using the following password:

MickeyMinnieGoofyHueyLouieDeweyDonaldPlu toIndianapolis

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that, "it had to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."
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All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

Tell everyone about your car!

30 years of Corvette ownership
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