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Old 11-03-2007, 10:08 PM   #61
Bob88
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Welcome back.

As 73vettegirl walked into the office Christmas party, her husband said, you look great tonight, you should leave your bra home all the time.

How did you know, she asked.

He said, all the wrinkles from your face are gone.

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Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

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Old 11-03-2007, 10:20 PM   #62
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Bob88 and his wife went to the chemist to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price, Bob was astonished - but his wife had a different opinion - "Oh, $40 a year ain't too bad".
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Old 11-03-2007, 10:29 PM   #63
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Bob88 went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"


Bob answered, "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one into four pieces."


The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."


Bob said, "That's all right. I'm old - I don't need them for sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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Old 11-03-2007, 10:31 PM   #64
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I don’t know if I said anything but 73vettegirl came over to our house to spend a few days. She got up early on Saturday morning to make breakfast. It was very early, Laura and I were still in bed, and the house was cold (you will see why in a moment)! I put my robe on and found her in the kitchen making muffins naked as a jaybird!

As I watched she would press an indention with one of her “chests” (the reason for the cold) put a raisin in the depression press an indention into the next with her other "chest" did the same thing, put a cherry, then next she put pieces of a pecan and so on. I watched her work in amazement. Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and asked what the hell she was doing.

She coyly responded "makin’ muffins my way sweetie", though I made the dough but need your help, would you make the donuts?

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2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

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Old 11-03-2007, 10:37 PM   #65
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Rjent...
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Old 11-03-2007, 10:47 PM   #66
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You all are too much ... I need a good laugh today. thanks !
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Old 11-05-2007, 08:32 AM   #67
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These are great!

Can anyone jump in, or is this a Private Beat 'em up feud?
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Old 11-05-2007, 08:34 AM   #68
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whatever it is , its surely funny
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Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-05-2007, 08:36 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfallison View Post
These are great!

Can anyone jump in, or is this a Private Beat 'em up feud?
Free for all. Have at it.
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Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 11-05-2007, 08:40 AM   #70
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Free for all. Have at it.
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Old 11-05-2007, 08:56 AM   #71
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Can't stand it any more got to log off.
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Old 11-05-2007, 09:26 AM   #72
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73VetteGirl and her hubbie were having some marital problems.. So, Hubbie decided to try a little role playing.

Tonight were going to play Fireman! 73VetteGirl got all excited and said Sure!

When I get home, I'll open the door and yell "1st Alarm"! That's your queue to run up the stairs. When I reach the staris, I'l yell "2nd Alarm"! That's your queue to run into the bedroom and get naked. When I reach the bedroom, I'll yell "3rd Alarm"! That when you jump into bed and get ready for some hot sex!

That night, 73VetteGirl's hubbie gets home, and opens the door.. "1st Alarm"!
he reaches the stairs and yells "2nd Alarm"! He climbs the stairs, gets to the bedroom and yells "3rd Alarm"! He rips his clothes off, and jumps into bed and starts making hot love.. 73VetteGirl starts yelling out.. "4th Alarm"! "4th Alarm" !! Hubbie stops, and looking puzzled... says "What the hell is a "4th Alarm?

73VetteGirl smiles and says.. "MORE HOSE" !!!
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Old 11-05-2007, 09:27 AM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfallison View Post
73VetteGirl and her hubbie were having some marital problems.. So, Hubbie decided to try a little role playing.

Tonight were going to play Fireman! 73VetteGirl got all excited and said Sure!

When I get home, I'll open the door and yell "1st Alarm"! That's your queue to run up the stairs. When I reach the staris, I'l yell "2nd Alarm"! That's your queue to run into the bedroom and get naked. When I reach the bedroom, I'll yell "3rd Alarm"! That when you jump into bed and get ready for some hot sex!

That night, 73VetteGirl's hubbie gets home, and opens the door.. "1st Alarm"!
he reaches the stairs and yells "2nd Alarm"! He climbs the stairs, gets to the bedroom and yells "3rd Alarm"! He rips his clothes off, and jumps into bed and starts making hot love.. 73VetteGirl starts yelling out.. "4th Alarm"! "4th Alarm" !! Hubbie stops, and looking puzzled... says "What the hell is a "4th Alarm?

73VetteGirl smiles and says.. "MORE HOSE" !!!
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All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

Tell everyone about your car!

30 years of Corvette ownership
Old 11-05-2007, 09:53 AM   #74
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sfallison's wife was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in Lewisville, TX when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. sfallison's wife tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to sfallison's wife.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'It's a bottle of gin that I got for my husband.'

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
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Old 11-05-2007, 12:55 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
sfallison's wife was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in Lewisville, TX when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. sfallison's wife tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to sfallison's wife.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'It's a bottle of gin that I got for my husband.'

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'


Ok.. I got
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