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Old 01-22-2010, 04:18 PM   #1
SherpaBoy
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How Fights Start

You may have seen these before but some funny stuff

How
Fights Start.......


One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift..
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still
haven't used the
gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight
started.....



================


I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she
said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started.....


================




My
wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have
sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....


================

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started......


================


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first..
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad
cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself..'
And that's when the fight
started.....

================




My
wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

================

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old
boyfriend...
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up
those many years ago, and
I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

================


I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car. You know
how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem
funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which
one are you?'
And then the fight started...

================

SAVE
THE BEST FOR LAST…..


THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing golf,
Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When
I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed
her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the
grass,
you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a
limp.
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Old 01-22-2010, 04:27 PM   #2
G00SEiv
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Old 01-22-2010, 04:28 PM   #3
Patrick
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

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Old 01-22-2010, 05:01 PM   #4
BASSIST
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SherpaBoy View Post
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift..
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still
haven't used the
gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight
started.....
BASSIST is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-22-2010, 06:18 PM   #5
Spiderpat
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My Black Widow

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Old 01-22-2010, 07:01 PM   #6
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