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Old 11-13-2013, 08:07 PM   #1
1963SS
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For all the sick folk.

I've learned that if you pick on EVERYONE equally it can't be called prejudice.

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg."
.............................. .........................
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor, she only had $1.20 in her purse.
.............................. .............................
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
.............................. .............................. ....
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should
change dentists?
.............................. .............................. ..........
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair."
.............................. ............................
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "Obviously you're not listening."
.............................. ......................
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
.............................. .......................
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer was Africa ! Who knew?
.............................. .............................. ............
One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Abo's is not the correct answer either.
.............................. .............................. .............
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
.............................. .............................. ........
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
.............................. ...........................
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a mustache."
.............................. .............................. ..
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know, 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!
.............................. ....................
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
.............................. ..................
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
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If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss

What does smoking marijuana do?
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Old 11-13-2013, 08:15 PM   #2
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That's some funny stuff.
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1988 Competition Yellow convertible



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Old 11-13-2013, 08:57 PM   #3
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Top notch!
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Old 11-13-2013, 10:58 PM   #4
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"Marines - Making the other guy die for his country for over 200 years."
Old 11-13-2013, 10:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1963SS View Post
.............................. ....................
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
.............................. ...................
That had me rolling....
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Rock on!
No...I can't spell...I'm a RedNeck!
Old 11-13-2013, 11:20 PM   #6
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Hey AJ, you've gotta admit it shows no prejudice. I picked on all equally. I might have found this on on here.

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If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss

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Old 11-14-2013, 03:36 AM   #7
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Hey AJ, you've gotta admit it shows no prejudice. I picked on all equally. I might have found this on on here.
You are so equally wrong!
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"Marines - Making the other guy die for his country for over 200 years."
Old 11-14-2013, 09:17 AM   #8
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Funny stuff!
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USAF(ret)
Old 11-14-2013, 05:05 PM   #9
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Hilarious!
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Old 11-14-2013, 08:03 PM   #10
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Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."



----------------------------------------------------------------------

Fucking awesome!!!!
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Sampson 9/22/97-1/1/05
Old 11-15-2013, 01:34 AM   #11
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Quote:
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."



----------------------------------------------------------------------

Fucking awesome!!!!

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1963SS View Post
.............................. ....................
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."
.............................. ...................
That had me rolling....
You guys are some sick puppies.
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If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss

What does smoking marijuana do?
Old 11-15-2013, 01:56 AM   #12
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.....
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Old 11-15-2013, 02:07 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1963SS View Post
You guys are some sick puppies.
And you are just now figuring that out?
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RACING...Because with baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and golf, you only need one ball

I used to think that I had learned patience as I got older. Then I realized that I just didn't give a shit
Old 11-15-2013, 02:19 AM   #14
1963SS
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Quote:
And you are just now figuring that out?
Since I didn't even get the disabled porn one at first, I guess I am just figuring it out. Sick Puppies. That's like handicap porn.....right.

Please DO NOT Google "Handicap Porn" and select "Images". Really, don't do that. I am so going to Hell now and it's all you guys fault. Fargin' bastages as Johnny Dangerously might say.

I didn't even know that a quadriplegic midget with an afro could even do a one armed obese girl that's blind while hanging upside down and eating a Twinkie with a tie-dye bow tied to his midget johnson..

I'm going to say some prayers now and get ready for confession. I've got to tell somebody about this. I've been in the hills too long. Sheep, Goat porn.....no problem but disabled porn.............

Geesh !!!!!


God will surely make me blind. Pray for me.
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If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss

What does smoking marijuana do?
Old 11-16-2013, 01:29 AM   #15
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RACING...Because with baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and golf, you only need one ball

I used to think that I had learned patience as I got older. Then I realized that I just didn't give a shit
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