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Old 11-14-2018, 06:06 AM   #1
The Torch
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Divorce agreement

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

WRITTEN BY A YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT

The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL PUT, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S WRITTEN BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

----------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O ' Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

-- When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U..N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
.
Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
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Old 11-14-2018, 05:30 PM   #2
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We agree as long as you take trump along with all the old white republican leadership that make up the rubber stamp for trump.
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Old 11-14-2018, 08:27 PM   #3
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Those damn old white men.... the source of all this country’s problems.
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Ain't THAT the mofo truth
Old 11-15-2018, 03:33 AM   #4
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We agree as long as you take trump along with all the old white republican leadership that make up the rubber stamp for trump.
Since you brought it up, what fucking color are you?
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Old 11-15-2018, 08:04 AM   #5
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Old 11-15-2018, 10:25 AM   #6
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since you brought it up, what fucking color are you?
Aw....c'mon Kenny, that's a loaded question. Do you want to know the color of his skin or what color he is at heart?
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Old 11-15-2018, 06:00 PM   #7
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Aw....c'mon Kenny, that's a loaded question. Do you want to know the color of his skin or what color he is at heart?
Since Kenny's response doesn't deserve a reply, especially with that attitude, I will , though , reply to you. I am a 71 year old white fart. born and raised in the south, I am a southern dixiecrat born and bread.
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Old 11-15-2018, 09:26 PM   #8
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I am a 71 year old white fart.
OK, youngster. 8/20/46 gives me seniority. I forgot what it's like to feel that young.
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Old 11-15-2018, 09:33 PM   #9
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OK, youngster. 8/20/46 gives me seniority. I forgot what it's like to feel that young.
Ain't it the truth.
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Old 11-15-2018, 11:05 PM   #10
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I am a southern dixiecrat born and bread.
Quote:
The States' Rights Democratic Party (usually called the Dixiecrats) was a short-lived segregationist political party in the United States. It originated in 1948 as a breakaway faction of the Democratic Party determined to protect states' rights to legislate racial segregation from what its members regarded as an oppressive federal government.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixiecrat
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Old 11-16-2018, 07:31 AM   #11
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Hmmmm
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Ain't THAT the mofo truth
Old 11-16-2018, 07:37 AM   #12
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Dixiecrats had some wins and losses in their platform. Just like modern day Dems and Pubs.

This doesn't sound too bad to me. Strom Thurmond may have been "out there" but this makes sense. No, I'm not a Dixiecrat.

Quote:
We call upon all Democrats and upon all other loyal Americans who are opposed to totalitarianism at home and abroad to unite with us in ignominiously defeating Harry S. Truman, Thomas E. Dewey and every other candidate for public office who would establish a Police Nation in the United States of America.
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Old 11-16-2018, 10:05 AM   #13
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Also southern dems who believed in the democratic policies with a strong believe that ALL people were entitled to a fair shake and nobody was better than the other fellow.
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Old 11-16-2018, 01:12 PM   #14
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Also southern dems who believed in the democratic policies with a strong believe that ALL people were entitled to a fair shake and nobody was better than the other fellow.
Please define "Southern Dems" does that include Florida and Georgia?
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Old 11-17-2018, 03:34 AM   #15
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haters gonna hate

I was somewhat surprised the letter was well crafted and entertaining, yet was still flogging ye old trickle down wealth for all in the near future, provided by tax cuts for the rich now.

Twenty years and some still haven't figured it out, or can't admit that it doesn't work, unless, of course , you are the very rich.

The rest of the letter, same old need for vindication, from getting all butt hurt from supporting unpopular social concepts, I guess.

Of course, that doesn't stop them from acting as if the tax cuts delivered as promised . Even after being proven mathematically impossible.

Now these same idiots want to run us into the ground by delaying needed action on mitigating climate damage.

Us against them , been there, done that, historically. I know how it ends, historically.
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