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Old 03-14-2005, 07:21 AM   #1
coolhandluke
 
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Talking The Gender Of Computers

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The Gender Of Computers



An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at times were given feminine names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she".

One of the students raised his hand and asked: "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.

Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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Old 03-14-2005, 03:54 PM   #2
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Clearly mine is a female based on the above analysis. But what's with all the viruses and trojan horses?

Get it!?!?!

I said TROJAN horses.

Oh, I'm too much!
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Old 03-14-2005, 04:00 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by MIKEETC
Clearly mine is a female based on the above analysis. But what's with all the viruses and trojan horses?

Get it!?!?!

I said TROJAN horses.

Oh, I'm too much!

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Old 03-14-2005, 04:27 PM   #4
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Most excellent observations, Coolhand!
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Old 03-14-2005, 04:34 PM   #5
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Interisting!
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Old 03-14-2005, 04:51 PM   #6
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Bill Gates picks his own punishment
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The bottle has a hole in it!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.

"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."
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