Moral of the story
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment, to get their parents to tell them a family story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began telling their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have lots of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat if the car. We stopped suddenly and the basket went flying and the eggs all broke and made a mess" "What's the moral of the story?", asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", replied Ashley. "Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Susan raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we got only ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is don't count your chickens before they hatch." "That! was a fine story Susan," said the teacher.
Then the teacher turned her attention to Bobby. "Do you have a story, Bobby?" "Yes, ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Betty. Aunt Betty was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She parachuted out and all she had with her was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then killed 20 more with the machete until the blade broke and THEN she killed the last 10 with her bare hands!" "Good lord!" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that story?" "Stay the hell away from Aunt Betty when she's been drinking."