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Old 04-17-2004, 06:35 PM   #46
Hincapie
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Quote:
Originally posted by C6Nut400
Instread of making yourself irritated just suggest something or just tell us what the metamessage is. SHEESH! (not talking directly)
women value relationships. they feel like if they can be understood without having to directly state what they want, a relationship is a success.

men, on the other hand, feel that a relationship is a success when both the man and the woman can feel comfortable in saying whatever they want, whenver they want.
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:02 PM   #47
C6Nut400
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hincapie
women value relationships. they feel like if they can be understood without having to directly state what they want, a relationship is a success.

men, on the other hand, feel that a relationship is a success when both the man and the woman can feel comfortable in saying whatever they want, whenver they want.
Yeah, but come on, we cant read minds, but if is really easy to tell what you all want so w/e. As long as were getting some
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:06 PM   #48
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Originally posted by C6Nut400
Yeah, but come on, we cant read minds, but if is really easy to tell what you all want so w/e. As long as were getting some
women c6nut400
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:10 PM   #49
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women c6nut400
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-I havent seen a beating like that since Rodney King....DUDE!-
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Old 04-17-2004, 08:09 PM   #50
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LOL , oh Amy, does sound a bit familiar.
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Old 04-18-2004, 03:05 AM   #51
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With me it always means I don't care or don't know what I want.

If a woman wants to play stupid games or pass along subtle messages, that's their problem.
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Old 04-18-2004, 03:44 AM   #52
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hincapie
women value relationships. they feel like if they can be understood without having to directly state what they want, a relationship is a success.

.

what?....I don’t know, what do you want?




Last edited by Not Inspiron; 04-18-2004 at 03:45 AM.
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Old 04-18-2004, 03:56 AM   #53
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hincapie
according to the book i've gotten much of my info from, this is an analysis of that convo:

Woman: What should we have for dinner?

Legitimate question. She wants to know what they should eat together.

Man: I don’t know, what do you want?

He really doesn’t care.


Woman: I don’t care. I’ll eat what you want.

(Metamessage)She wants him to suggest something that she likes, so she knows he cares for her and is willing to make her happy.


Man: Anything is fine.

No, really. He doesn’t care. Anything is fine. Does not pick up on metamessage.


Woman: No. What do you want?

Getting irritated. She wants any sort of answer so she can get the feeling that they are in a meaningful relationship, and they can communicate sucecssfully.


Man: I don’t care.

Still doesn’t care. Anything is fine.


metamessage=conveying your thoughts indirectly, a sneaky female move


does that make ANY sense??
Meta message? What? I have to get some special radio receiver now to pick up that channel? If they don't say it, it is not said.

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Old 04-18-2004, 04:14 AM   #54
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The question "What do you want for dinner tonight?" She already knows what is thawed out and what she was planning to fix.

The answer lies somewhere between asking what she feels like fixing and lets eat out to give you a break. The real truth is that he doesn't know what is planned and if he suggest anything different he will have to make a trip to the store because everything else is frozen.

The point is by this time in the relationship both should know the likes and dislikes of the other. This includes the how much she feels like cooking on any given night. He might pick up the hint and offer to cook her a surprise dinner. Of course she realizes he understood her question and tells him to just go rest until dinners ready. And he watches the weather channel where they're reporting on a blizzard in hell.
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Old 04-18-2004, 09:47 AM   #55
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Quote:
Originally posted by Patrick
Meta message? What? I have to get some special radio receiver now to pick up that channel? If they don't say it, it is not said.

if you don't pick up on it, you might find yourself in the doghouse for something you dont understand. key word: might. I always say what i mean. being sneaky isnt my way of getting what i want from a guy.
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Old 04-18-2004, 09:50 AM   #56
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Quote:
Originally posted by elints
He might pick up the hint
METAMESSAGE

Quote:
Originally posted by elints
And he watches the weather channel where they're reporting on a blizzard in hell.
TRUTH

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Old 04-18-2004, 10:06 AM   #57
lsejlowe
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hincapie
according to the book i've gotten much of my info from, this is an analysis of that convo:

Woman: What should we have for dinner?

Legitimate question. She wants to know what they should eat together.

Man: I don’t know, what do you want?

He really doesn’t care.


Woman: I don’t care. I’ll eat what you want.

(Metamessage)She wants him to suggest something that she likes, so she knows he cares for her and is willing to make her happy.


so what was the point of him asking "what do you want?" that seems to me to be evidence that he "cares for her and is willing to maker her happy." And he didn't have to be all kinds of subtle to say it.
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Old 04-18-2004, 10:41 AM   #58
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Re: Need Male Opinions!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally posted by Hincapie
Hello. Now that I have your attention, please read the following.



In this conversation, which i'm sure all of you have had:

Woman: What do you want for dinner?
Man: I don’t know, what do you want?
Woman: I don’t care. I’ll eat what you want.
Man: Anything is fine.
Woman: No. What do you want?

from a male perspective, what is happening?

When your significant other asks you this question, do you actually not care? Or do you just want to see what your s.o. will suggest becuase you don't feel like making a decision? Or what?

This is for my paper....

Most men would rather not get into this conversation and often would rather go hungry than deal with it. Like many conversations with women, this can start out as a perfectly innocent question and suddenly turn into trap were you are "too demanding" and "never liked my mother any way".

Right away you have to be carefull because she more than likely already knows that she doesn't want to make your damn supper and probably want's you to say something like "I'm not really hungry" or "lets eat out tonite".

If you say exactly what you want, odds are the answer is "we don't have that, how about we get a pizza?".

If given a choice between two different suppers, but one takes longer or is more difficult to make , pick the easy one. By now she will acting like she's doing you a favor and may not even eat her own supper, just to prove how oppressed she is and how much she's suffering putting up with you.

You won't enjoy it anyway, but it's the least likely to start a major war. Unless she thinks she's an expert at the most difficult meal choice, which of course is her mothers ("you never liked her anyway") recipe.

If you insist you wan't the pasta tonite and not the pork chops you are apt to be told "make it yourself then!"

Don't do it! It only "proves" you don't need her and that will take you to a whole new place in the evenings festivities!

Over all, when ever she leaves it "up to you honey" look out, because you are about to step in deep doo-doo and suddenly everything you say will "prove" what a domineering , insensitive, male chauvenist pig you realy are!

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Old 04-18-2004, 10:42 AM   #59
Hincapie
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Quote:
Originally posted by lsejlowe
so what was the point of him asking "what do you want?" that seems to me to be evidence that he "cares for her and is willing to maker her happy." And he didn't have to be all kinds of subtle to say it.
if he wanted to show he cared, he could have said "we can have what you want to have" which would have left the conversation more open to suggestion than "what do you want"

but i see your point. there are always exceptions
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Old 04-18-2004, 10:45 AM   #60
Hincapie
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Re: Re: Need Male Opinions!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally posted by RF Hayes
Over all, when ever she leaves it "up to you honey" look out, because you are about to step in deep doo-doo and suddenly everything you say will "prove" what a domineering , insensitive, male chauvenist pig you realy are!

that means "suggest something the woman likes" not suggest something you like. you must read her messages to make her happy. do not take the question at face value, even if you want pizza and beer.
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