DC Joke Thread [Rjent-73Vettegirl] - Page 2 - Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums
 
 
Go Back   Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums > Other Discussions/Topics > Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge
Register Forums Garage Garage Mark Forums Read Auto EscrowInsurance Advertise

Notices

Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge Welcome to our seriously OFF TOPIC discussion forum section! Open 24-hours a day since 2003.

Shops/Tuners
Custom Image Corvettes
A&A Corvette
Corvette tuner

Interior
Corvette aftermarket products

Insurance



Parts & Products
Race Ramps
Edelbrock
ATI/Procharger
Corvetteguys.com
Melrose Motorsports
Parts Taxi
Airaid
Pfadt Racing
Madvette Motorsports
Hi-tech Custom Concepts
Corvette Garage
Corvette Parts and Accessories
Corvette Car Care Products
Corvette HID

Tracks/Schools
Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving
Corvette driving school

Wheels/Tires
Cray Wheels

Services
BADWERKS.com
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-02-2007, 07:54 PM   #16
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Oh BOB-LMFAO

Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Bob is devastated.

"Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it >off with a gallon of prune juice."

Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."


Bob hope this doesnt offend you...
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-02-2007, 07:57 PM   #17
-=Jeff=-
El Teafive
 
-=Jeff=-'s Avatar
 
Posts: 10,489
Member #2
Member since: Jan 2003
Location: Bartlett, IL

My Corvette(s)
1990 ZR-1 #1051

Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Bob is devastated.

"Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it >off with a gallon of prune juice."

Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."


Bob hope this doesnt offend you...

73vettegirl => <=Bob88
-=Jeff=- is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
-=Jeff=-
1990 ZR-1 #1051
NCM Lifetime Member #978

Useful Links: C4 Tech info|C3 Tech Info|Adam's Polishes
Old 11-02-2007, 07:58 PM   #18
BASSIST
DC Crew
 
BASSIST's Avatar
 
Posts: 13,185
Member #32754
Member since: Apr 2005
Location: Mi

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Damn Bob, Are you gonna be able to recover from that one
BASSIST is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2007, 08:00 PM   #19
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by -=Jeff=- View Post
73vettegirl => <=Bob88
Quote:
Originally Posted by BASSIST View Post
Damn Bob, Are you gonna be able to recover from that one
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-02-2007, 08:06 PM   #20
Bob88
DC Pit Crew Boss
 
Bob88's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,628
Member #1057
Member since: May 2003
Location: Brandon, Fl

My Corvette(s)
88 convertible

Thanks: 297
Thanked 49 Times in 39 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Bob is devastated.

"Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it >off with a gallon of prune juice."

Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."


Bob hope this doesnt offend you...
I'll be back as soon as I stop laughing.
Bob88 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 11-02-2007, 08:11 PM   #21
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Blonde Dan

Two DC men were in the woods hunting-Dan and Bassist. Dan looked at Bassist and said, "I've got to take a shit."

Bassist said, "Well go behind one of those big trees".

Dan said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." Then Bassist replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

Dan said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.

Bassist looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

Dan replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"


Sorry Bassist..you were the only hunter I could think of at the moment
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-02-2007, 08:12 PM   #22
WIT911
DC Crew
 
Posts: 16,602
Member #13981
Member since: Jun 2004
Location: Hiding in the dark shadow preparing to jump at you and say "hello there"

My Corvette(s)
'93 40th Annv Coupe (sold), '03 MY Roadster (sold), 2007 LMB Coupe (Grand Sport Tribute)

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
Two DC men were in the woods hunting-Dan and Bassist. Dan looked at Bassist and said, "I've got to take a shit."

Bassist said, "Well go behind one of those big trees".

Dan said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." Then Bassist replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

Dan said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.

Bassist looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

Dan replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"
WIT911 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2007, 08:13 PM   #23
Bob88
DC Pit Crew Boss
 
Bob88's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,628
Member #1057
Member since: May 2003
Location: Brandon, Fl

My Corvette(s)
88 convertible

Thanks: 297
Thanked 49 Times in 39 Posts
73vettegirl's husband was trying to console a friend who just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?"

73vettegirl's husband ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

Bob88 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 11-02-2007, 08:14 PM   #24
WIT911
DC Crew
 
Posts: 16,602
Member #13981
Member since: Jun 2004
Location: Hiding in the dark shadow preparing to jump at you and say "hello there"

My Corvette(s)
'93 40th Annv Coupe (sold), '03 MY Roadster (sold), 2007 LMB Coupe (Grand Sport Tribute)

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
73vettegirl's husband was trying to console a friend who just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?"

73vettegirl's husband ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."


WIT911 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2007, 08:17 PM   #25
Bob88
DC Pit Crew Boss
 
Bob88's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,628
Member #1057
Member since: May 2003
Location: Brandon, Fl

My Corvette(s)
88 convertible

Thanks: 297
Thanked 49 Times in 39 Posts
WIT911 came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold."

She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar.

"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?"

To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone."
Bob88 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 11-02-2007, 08:18 PM   #26
WIT911
DC Crew
 
Posts: 16,602
Member #13981
Member since: Jun 2004
Location: Hiding in the dark shadow preparing to jump at you and say "hello there"

My Corvette(s)
'93 40th Annv Coupe (sold), '03 MY Roadster (sold), 2007 LMB Coupe (Grand Sport Tribute)

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob88 View Post
WIT911 came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold."

She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar.

"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?"

To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone."
LMAO!
WIT911 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2007, 08:19 PM   #27
-=Jeff=-
El Teafive
 
-=Jeff=-'s Avatar
 
Posts: 10,489
Member #2
Member since: Jan 2003
Location: Bartlett, IL

My Corvette(s)
1990 ZR-1 #1051

Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
Two DC men were in the woods hunting-Dan and Bassist. Dan looked at Bassist and said, "I've got to take a shit."

Bassist said, "Well go behind one of those big trees".

Dan said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." Then Bassist replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

Dan said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.

Bassist looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

Dan replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"


Sorry Bassist..you were the only hunter I could think of at the moment
That should have been Bassist and The Shield.. LOL
-=Jeff=- is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
-=Jeff=-
1990 ZR-1 #1051
NCM Lifetime Member #978

Useful Links: C4 Tech info|C3 Tech Info|Adam's Polishes
Old 11-02-2007, 08:21 PM   #28
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
3 Men

Three guys-Bob, WIT911 and Bassist stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it.

During the night WIT911, on the left, wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job.

Incredulously Bassist, on the right, says that he also had a dream where he got a hand job.

The Bob, in the middle, says he dreamed he was skiing.


73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-02-2007, 08:21 PM   #29
Bob88
DC Pit Crew Boss
 
Bob88's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,628
Member #1057
Member since: May 2003
Location: Brandon, Fl

My Corvette(s)
88 convertible

Thanks: 297
Thanked 49 Times in 39 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by -=Jeff=- View Post
That should have been Bassist and The Shield.. LOL

Yah, no shit.
Bob88 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 11-02-2007, 08:22 PM   #30
WIT911
DC Crew
 
Posts: 16,602
Member #13981
Member since: Jun 2004
Location: Hiding in the dark shadow preparing to jump at you and say "hello there"

My Corvette(s)
'93 40th Annv Coupe (sold), '03 MY Roadster (sold), 2007 LMB Coupe (Grand Sport Tribute)

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
Three guys-Dan, WIT911 and Bassist stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it.

During the night WIT911, on the left, wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job.

Incredulously Bassist, on the right, says that he also had a dream where he got a hand job.

The Bob, in the middle, says he dreamed he was skiing.


That wasn't just a dream














WIT911 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (12 CHARACTERS MAXIMUM), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:
City / State / Country?
Where you live
What kind of Corvette(s) do you own?
This field is not required.
Insurance
Please select your insurance company (Optional)

Log-in


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The official C3 LSx swap thread superpowers C3 Corvette 323 11-16-2018 03:57 PM
Best Joke you've heard lately thread !!! E_Tar Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge 7 03-21-2008 01:48 PM
JetBlackZ51's Joke Thread! JetBlackZ51 Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge 68 01-05-2008 12:25 PM
Her own thread Eagles92LT1 Corvette Babes! 43 12-10-2007 07:01 PM
Joke thread 1320 Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge 1 09-18-2007 07:46 PM

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:59 AM.




Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
2003-2011, DigitalCorvettes.com - All Rights Reserved