DC Joke Thread [Rjent-73Vettegirl] - Page 6 - Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums
 
 
Go Back   Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums > Other Discussions/Topics > Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge
Register Forums Garage Garage Mark Forums Read Auto EscrowInsurance Advertise

Notices

Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge Welcome to our seriously OFF TOPIC discussion forum section! Open 24-hours a day since 2003.

Shops/Tuners
Custom Image Corvettes
A&A Corvette
Corvette tuner

Interior
Corvette aftermarket products

Insurance



Parts & Products
Race Ramps
Edelbrock
ATI/Procharger
Corvetteguys.com
Melrose Motorsports
Parts Taxi
Airaid
Pfadt Racing
Madvette Motorsports
Hi-tech Custom Concepts
Corvette Garage
Corvette Parts and Accessories
Corvette Car Care Products
Corvette HID

Tracks/Schools
Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving
Corvette driving school

Wheels/Tires
Cray Wheels

Services
BADWERKS.com
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-05-2007, 12:15 PM   #76
rjent
DC Crew
 
rjent's Avatar
 
Posts: 12,250
Member #34743
Member since: May 2005
Location: Hot Springs, NM USA

My Corvette(s)
1974 modified coupe 1974 matching #'s vert

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
73vettegirl got married. She is a good cook and likes to cook, so she asked her new husband as he was headed out the door to work what he wanted for supper. He thought for a min. and said, "Surprise me sweetheart you are a good cook" and then left. So starting about 1 PM she starts preparing an elaborate 4 course dinner the two would enjoy over candlelight, very romantic.
He come home, opens the door she is standing in her evening gown just inside, he grabs her, takes her up stairs and they make love for the rest of the evening, and exhausted they both fall asleep.

The next morning she asks again what he wants for dinner, spends all afternoon preparing it with the same result, exhausted; they fall asleep, another dinner ruined.

On the third day hubby comes home. No 73vettegirl at the front door, yet he hears running up the stairs. He steps around the corner and sees her buck naked, running up the stairs, then sliding down the banister, running up the stairs, sliding down the banister, running up the stairs ... you get the idea ...

He yells out "what are you doing"

She replies, "Warming supper! "

rjent is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
All Righty Then

Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something, and ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you felt and known joy in your life
2. Have you given joy to someone else ....

Tell everyone about your car!

30 years of Corvette ownership
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-05-2007, 12:50 PM   #77
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfallison View Post


Ok.. I got
Yes you did...

Rjent...warming up supper... No need to warm supper up around here...
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-05-2007, 01:23 PM   #78
Chuck A
Only green will do...
 
Posts: 18,370
Member #59169
Member since: Apr 2007
Location: Long Island

My Corvette(s)
2000 , Green 6 speed vert

Thanks: 0
Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts
Chuck A is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-05-2007, 02:42 PM   #79
sfallison
DC Crew
 
sfallison's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,808
Member #13653
Member since: Jun 2004
Location: Lewisville, Tx

My Corvette(s)
1975 Yellow T-top

Thanks: 0
Thanked 101 Times in 42 Posts
Bob and Bassist are out hunting in the back 40.
They've been out a while, and Bob is sighting up his scope.

Hey Bassist.. I can see your ol Lady
Bassist sez. Yea? What's she doing?

Bob gasps.. Holy Shit! she naked with another guy!

Bassist gets pissed.. and says.. "Bob, Shoot her in the head, and shoot him in the balls"!

Bob smiles.. I can do that in one shot!
sfallison is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
S.F. Allison

I am Shakespeare of Borg - Prepare to be or not to be
Old 11-05-2007, 02:43 PM   #80
Chuck A
Only green will do...
 
Posts: 18,370
Member #59169
Member since: Apr 2007
Location: Long Island

My Corvette(s)
2000 , Green 6 speed vert

Thanks: 0
Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts
Chuck A is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-05-2007, 05:03 PM   #81
BASSIST
DC Crew
 
BASSIST's Avatar
 
Posts: 13,185
Member #32754
Member since: Apr 2005
Location: Mi

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
BASSIST is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-05-2007, 05:39 PM   #82
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, Rjent who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"Im afraid I cant" breathes Rjent - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-05-2007, 05:40 PM   #83
Bob88
DC Pit Crew Boss
 
Bob88's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,628
Member #1057
Member since: May 2003
Location: Brandon, Fl

My Corvette(s)
88 convertible

Thanks: 297
Thanked 49 Times in 39 Posts
sfallison comes home and finds his wife, 73vettegirl, sitting on the porch with her suitcases. What are you doing, he asks. I'm leaving you, she says. Why are you doing that, he asks. She says I found out I can get $400 for what I'm giving you for free.

sfallison thinks for a minute, goes in the house and comes out with a suitcase.
What do you think you're doing, she asks. I'm going with you, I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year.
Bob88 is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
1988 Competition Yellow convertible



Your Proctologist called, he found your head.

"My dog Minton ate two shuttlecocks yesterday."
"Bad Minton."



Open air box, K & N, Throttle body bypass, Air Foil, AFPR. Brodix heads, Harland Sharp 1.6 roller rockers, Lingenfelter cam, Superram, 2800 stall torque converter, 3:54 rear, Melrose exhaust system, long tube headers, 3" high flow cats, LT1 mufflers. ZR1 rims 17 x 9.5 front with 275's and 17 x 11 rear with 315's
Old 11-05-2007, 06:01 PM   #84
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
A Bob88 took his daughter to the Gynocologist.
They waited in the Doctors office when finally the Doctor came in and asked Bob88: "Well, what are we here for today"?
Bob answered: "to get my daughter on birth control, Doc".
"Well, is your daughter sexually active?", asked the Doctor.
"No", answered Bob88, "she just lays there like her mother".
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-05-2007, 06:05 PM   #85
Chuck A
Only green will do...
 
Posts: 18,370
Member #59169
Member since: Apr 2007
Location: Long Island

My Corvette(s)
2000 , Green 6 speed vert

Thanks: 0
Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts
Chuck A is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-05-2007, 06:23 PM   #86
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Bassist goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks "Wow, this is cool." He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.

This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where Bassist can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.

When he gets there, he asks the manager, "Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep."

The manager says, "No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop."

"Why?"

"When drums stop...bass solo begins."
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-05-2007, 06:42 PM   #87
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Patrick Might Be A Racer If...

"Patrick might be a racer if ..."

- He thinks the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
- He takes his helmet along when he goes to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.
- He feels compelled on a road trip to beat his previous best time.
- He is happiest when his street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.
- When something falls off of his car, he wonders how much weight he just saved.
- When he hears 'overcooked it', instead of food he thinks 'off the track'.
- He sometimes hears little noises from his passengers when he gets on the throttle right after turning in.
- He thoroughly enjoys showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
- His racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, car payments/maintenance, dating.
- He been known to yell "It means 'check your mirrors' dammit!" at his television.
- He buys new parts because he doesn't know where he put the spares.
- He bought a race car before buying a house.
- He bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
- He is looking for a tow vehicle and still hasn't bought furniture!
- He finds that he needs a new house because he has outgrown his garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if he parks one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-05-2007, 06:45 PM   #88
BASSIST
DC Crew
 
BASSIST's Avatar
 
Posts: 13,185
Member #32754
Member since: Apr 2005
Location: Mi

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by 73VetteGirl View Post
Bassist goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks "Wow, this is cool." He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.

This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where Bassist can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.

When he gets there, he asks the manager, "Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep."

The manager says, "No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop."

"Why?"

"When drums stop...bass solo begins."


Now it's gonna get ugly
BASSIST is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-05-2007, 06:50 PM   #89
73VetteGirl
DC Crew
 
73VetteGirl's Avatar
 
Posts: 16,252
Member #63467
Member since: Aug 2007
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan

My Corvette(s)
73 & 76 StingRays

Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by BASSIST View Post


Now it's gonna get ugly




What's the difference between a Bassist and a rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?

One a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a rhino.
73VetteGirl is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
39 ForEver

Don't take life so seriously ... it's not permanent.
Old 11-05-2007, 07:13 PM   #90
sfallison
DC Crew
 
sfallison's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,808
Member #13653
Member since: Jun 2004
Location: Lewisville, Tx

My Corvette(s)
1975 Yellow T-top

Thanks: 0
Thanked 101 Times in 42 Posts
Rjent, Bassist, Bob, 73vettegirl and I all die at the same time...

Up at the pearly gates, St. Peter informs us that as we lived in life, so we get to drive around in Heaven.

As we're all driving around in our Vettes... we happen to see 73vettegirl trying to hitch a ride....
sfallison is offline   Reply w/quote Quick reply to this message
S.F. Allison

I am Shakespeare of Borg - Prepare to be or not to be
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Corvette Forum : DigitalCorvettes.com Corvette Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name (12 CHARACTERS MAXIMUM), your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:
City / State / Country?
Where you live
What kind of Corvette(s) do you own?
This field is not required.
Insurance
Please select your insurance company (Optional)

Log-in


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The official C3 LSx swap thread superpowers C3 Corvette 323 11-16-2018 03:57 PM
Best Joke you've heard lately thread !!! E_Tar Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge 7 03-21-2008 01:48 PM
JetBlackZ51's Joke Thread! JetBlackZ51 Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge 68 01-05-2008 12:25 PM
Her own thread Eagles92LT1 Corvette Babes! 43 12-10-2007 07:01 PM
Joke thread 1320 Stingray's "Bad Shark" Lounge 1 09-18-2007 07:46 PM

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:02 AM.




Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
2003-2011, DigitalCorvettes.com - All Rights Reserved