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Old 11-07-2007, 07:11 AM   #106
Chuck A
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Thats right just GREEN will do
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Old 11-07-2007, 01:04 PM   #107
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There once was a farmer named Rjent who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered the late teens, the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.

This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, Rjent would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Rjent answered the door and the lad said, "Hi, my name's Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?" Rjent looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, "My name's Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're gonna get some spaghetti. Is she ready?" Rjent felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and Rjent opened the door. The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck..." Rjent shot him.
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Old 11-07-2007, 01:21 PM   #108
Chuck A
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Vette girl your insane keep em coming
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Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-07-2007, 01:48 PM   #109
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Bob88 walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's wrong?"

"I found out my older brother is gay," replied Bob88.

The next night, Bob88 walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. "What now?" asked the bartender.

"I found out my younger brother is gay," replied Bob88.

The night after that, Bob88 walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. "Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women?" asked the bartender.

Bob88 replied, "Yeah, my wife does."
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:28 PM   #110
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73vettegirl was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

73vettegirl said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:34 PM   #111
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Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-07-2007, 05:39 PM   #112
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Bob88 and Bassist are strangers and are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, Bob88 looks at Bassist knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."

Bassist hooks his thumb behind him says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:53 PM   #113
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It was a really hot day and 73vettegirl decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

And 73vettegirl said, "No way. I'm still winning!"
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:02 PM   #114
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Bassist and his wife were just married and in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, Bassist tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said.
"That's right,'' said Bassist, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to stay until your attitude changes."
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:04 PM   #115
Chuck A
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Thats right just GREEN will do
Old 11-07-2007, 06:18 PM   #116
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73vettegirl gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, ''Sir, how old do you think I am''?
The man replies ''You're 30, right?'' She says ''No, I'm 47, but nice try.''

The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ''How old do you think I am?''

The man replies, ''You're 37, right?''

The lady says ''No, I'm 47, but good guess.''

After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies ''Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her bra.''

So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ''You're 47!''

73vettegirl, astonished, asks, ''How did you know?''

The old man replies ''I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.''
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:27 PM   #117
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A funeral service is being held for Bassist who has just passed away.
At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that Bassist is actually alive! He lives for ten more years, and then finally dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, Bassist's wife cries out,

"Watch the wall!"
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:28 PM   #118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BASSIST View Post
73vettegirl gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, ''Sir, how old do you think I am''?
The man replies ''You're 30, right?'' She says ''No, I'm 47, but nice try.''

The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ''How old do you think I am?''

The man replies, ''You're 37, right?''

The lady says ''No, I'm 47, but good guess.''

After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies ''Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her bra.''

So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ''You're 47!''

73vettegirl, astonished, asks, ''How did you know?''

The old man replies ''I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.''
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"A true hot rodder wouldn't be content until he had created a car so violent, so hairy, so totally sick that the very act of dropping the hammer would result in instant death. Anything less results in the need to go faster."

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Old 11-07-2007, 06:29 PM   #119
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Good one
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:38 PM   #120
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Bassist was at a party and walked up to 73vettegirl and told her, ''If you were my wife I would poison your drink."

Then 73vettegirl replied, ''If you were my husband I would drink it.''
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