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Not that I'm surprised but historical reports may be wrong... Apparently Hitler wanted to wipe out the muslims not the jews.

He gave up once he realised how difficult it would be to get them in the showers.
 

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Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the sheep could hear a zipper... :laughing:
What do REAL scotsmen wear under their kilts?


Lipstick.


:devil:
 

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Bobbie Jo went up to her uncle Jimmie and asked to borrow the truck.
Her uncle said.. Bobbie Jo ifn' ya'll wanna borrow the truck, you know what ya gotta do!

So, Bobby Jo unzipped his pants and started to give him a BJ..

Uncle Jimmie! Yo Dick tastes like ****!

Uncle Jimmie slaps his head and replies.. Damn! I done fogot!
Your brother Billy Jo dun borrowed the truck!
 

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A Mexican man hits the driver´s door from a new Mercedes , with his old car, seeing that it is a Galician Spanish, decided to scam him, by saying, " look, your car is fixed by blowing through the exhaust pipe."
and while the Galician begins blowing, the Mexican man escapes, a wile after an Argentine man who saw the Galician blowing, ask what a hell is doing,
Galician explains. and the Argentine made to laugh by saying, I'll help but it works really well with the windows are closed!


If some one understand my english deserves a gold medal :D
 

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Not that I'm surprised but historical reports may be wrong... Apparently Hitler wanted to wipe out the muslims not the jews.

He gave up once he realised how difficult it would be to get them in the showers.
truth, smell em coming a mile away
 

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- What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?
The taste.

- An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."
The Australian replied, "Put on a blind fold."
The Japanese man asked, "Where do I get one?
The Australian then said, "Here take my shoe lace."

- A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians." The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire," and so on and so on and then the Greek says: "We invented sex."
The Italian says, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
 

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Ok people, seriously, let's stop with the Nazi/Jew jokes. A member of my family died in a German concentration camp.


He got drunk and fell out of the guard tower!:rolling:
 

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Feel free to add to the list. :D
OK you asked for it...

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? The Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What do they call beautiful women in Poland? Tourists

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? [email protected] it, let the [email protected] cook in the dark.

What did the Million Man March have in common with a Million lesbians? One million people who don't do [email protected].

What has 50 thousand legs and can't walk. Jerry's Kids.

Now that millions of decent people are rightly offended by the above race, gender, and disability jokes, feel free to rip on me - I'm a mut made up of at least four different kinds of euro-trash: Dutch, German, English, French, and who knows what else. The only one I'm ashamed of is the French part, lol. :laughing:
 

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Now that millions of decent people are rightly offended by the above race, gender, and disability jokes, feel free to rip on me - I'm a mut made up of at least four different kinds of euro-trash: Dutch, German, English, French, and who knows what else. The only one I'm ashamed of is the French part, lol. :laughing:
wow that sucks-- not a winning team anywhere in there...lol
 

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Lesbians can't really wade in the Red River, only drink from it.
 

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Vettes and Bikes Flying By

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains became just too much and he could go no further. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours, he hadn’t gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The corvette owner found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going to fast, to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.

The police officer noted the speed from his radar gun and radio to the other officer that he has two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. HE then relayed, and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s a guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass!
 

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A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains became just too much and he could go no further. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours, he hadn’t gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The corvette owner found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going to fast, to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.

The police officer noted the speed from his radar gun and radio to the other officer that he has two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. HE then relayed, and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s a guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass!
There are two versions equally funny about this joke, one is that of a Ferrari in which when reversing into a parking, the Ferrari´s back bumper jams with a Fiat 500.
the second one and the most funny is;
A cowboy walking with a cow, in a highway, a Corvette stops, asking what a hell is doing with a cow, cowboy answer; I´m going to Houston!, ´vette man says, you have a 50 miles way!, cowboy says My Veronica (the cow) is very well walker, but if you take me for a lift to Houston, thanks, saying that he tie a rope to the bumper of Corvette and he jump into the car, Corvette is running at 3 mph, and the owner becomes impatient, cowboy says; accelerate my Veronica loves the speed! the cow walks at 25 mph, a bit relieved but still anxious, 'vette owner ask again, cowboys says "do not be afraid, you run! this time Corvette goes at 55mph. the cow Still running,
to see that the cow was running so well, the owner of the Corvette, it gets the devil :devil: , and speeds up to 70mph, to which the cow begins to stick its tongue out and close the left eye.
In a mocking tone of the corvette owner tells him what happens to the cow and the cowboy replied ; lets her pass over! :rolling:
 

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Discussion Starter #137
What does a Cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend???


Wipes his ass of course! :devil:
 

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I found this, thought it was pretty funny. (not a racial joke though, sorry guys.):devil:

Dirty sayings you can get away with on Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

:rolling:
 
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