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These stories seem to write themselves. Once again, we offer readers some illustrations of why the slogan “Keep Louisville Weird” is apropos of our wonderful little town on the river. The following tiny news items were reported in the media over the past week:

The best criminal justice system in the world. According to the police, Albert Wilding has a bad habit of taking large insurance policies out on family members, and then bumping them off for the money. Back in the 1970s, Wilding was convicted here in Louisville of murdering his mother-in law Marie Wayne in her home off Eastern Parkway. Wilding admitted that he attacked Wayne in the kitchen, broke a bottle over her head, choked her then repeatedly stabbed her corpse with an ice pick. He hoped police would think it was a break-in and his wife could collect the insurance money. For some reason, his wife then divorced him, and former Assistant Commonwealth Attorney Bob Fleming got Wilding convicted and sent away for 21 years.

But former Kentucky Governor Louie Nunn commuted Wilding’s sentence after just one year, and he remarried and moved away to Alabama. Then in 2000, Wilding's new wife Judie went missing. Fortunately, she was insured, and Wilding collected $800,000. The cops were suspicious (you know how they are), but couldn’t pin anything on Wilding, who denied any knowledge of what happened to his new wife.

In 2008, however, Alabama authorities finally charged him with murder, and last Monday Wilding cut a deal. He admitted he shot his wife, then burned her body and put her remains around a wooded lake. In return for admitting to the murder of Judie, Wilder was sentenced to 5 years in prison. With credit for time served, he’ll be out in two and one-half years.

"You know the criminal justice system isn't perfect, " Fleming told WAVE-3’s Connie Leonard, "It's a good one, best in the world, but he's one of the guys that was lucky enough to be able to play the system." Albert Wilding is now 82-years old, and it looks like he’s netted around $160,000 for each year spent behind bars.

2-4-6-8, we just want to… Louisville police were called to the high school cheerleading competition at Kentucky Fair & Expo Center last Sunday, because of the strange behavior of a local man. The cops ended up arresting Richard Molett, 45, charging him with disorderly conduct, alcohol intoxication and criminal trespass because he didn’t pay to enter the event held in the Expo Center’s North Wing.

Oh, and they also charged his with indecent exposure, since it appears he was masturbating while watching the girls perform. “When officers attempted to stop him, he would not follow the officers’ instructions,” LMPD spokesman Dwight Mitchell said, adding that Molett was reported as having bloodshot eyes and slurred speech (alcohol may have been involved). According to the arrest report, the incident “caused public alarm.”

Louisville schools going to the dogs. The PR folks out at the School Board thought this would be a good week to divert attention away from the rash of non-snow school closings by touting the hard work of the Jefferson County Public School K-9 unit. That’s right, out schools employ a team of bomb-and-drug sniffing dogs that roam the halls of your kids’ school; looking for illegal substances and kids without hall passes.

Since we have two dogs in the unit, we naturally have to have a “K-9 Coordinator;” and that would be a Mr. Ron Moser, who tells WHAS-11: “I’ve had parents come to me and say how long have you been doing this and are surprised about it they really like it.”

This report comes just days after a study published in the Chicago Tribune, indicating that sniffer dogs used by the cops in Cook County are generally mistaken more times than right. In some instances, the dogs make correct identifications in less than 1 out of 8 attempts. Of course, Louisville dogs are probably smarter than Chicago dogs…

Happy birthday Mom. What’s that sticking out of your arm? Louisville police say 31-year-old Chandra Justice went out Tuesday to celebrate her birthday, and took her 4-year-old son with her in the car. Around 7:30 that evening, witnesses called the cops when they heard a child crying in the back seat of Justice’s car, parked near Fourth and Broadway. According to the arrest report, when LMPD officers arrived, they found Justice passed out behind the wheel, with a needle containing heroin sticking out of her arm. They also found a spoon close by.

The little boy was checked at Children’s Hospital, and taken to stay with his father. Justice faces several drug charges, wanton endangerment and endangering the welfare of a minor. She was also charged with illegal possession of a spoon.

Louisville traffic can make you lose your head. On Wednesday, LMPD officers were flagged down at 4th and Central by a man who told them he had been involved in a road-rage incident over on Taylor Boulevard, in which another man threatened to decapitate him. The victim said some guy was driving erratically, and that the victim asked the driver at a stop signal if he was O.K. The driver then jumped out of his car, waiving knives and yelling "I will cut your head off." Apparently he was very much not O.K.

The cops then caught up with the alleged driver, Dustin Ochs, 32, and arrested him on a charge of first-degree wanton endangerment. The arrest report did not indicate whether Ochs had a spoon to go with his knives.
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