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OK, AJ....here we go. I've watched some video but not all of them. I don't have 20 years left. If I ever hear someone call me "Boys and Girls" again I'm gonna smack them right in the side of the head.

I need to keep a garage kept 1995 Impala shiny. There are very few, if any, imperfections in the paint. I'm going to get a buffer. I don't want or need, nor can I afford two. Now, very simply please, If I have to only get one would I get the Flex 3401 or the Porter Cable. Since the Flex has powered rotation it should be faster but will it also be gentle enough if I use the proper pad/pads and the correct compound. Since I have neither the patience or the inclination to spend 40 hours on a wax job speed will be somewhat of an issue. I'm also getting older and would rather not die of old age while waxing. I have other plans for my finality and it involves some long legged, big booby, double jointed twins that are into bridles, saddles and cattle prods.

I have used products like Zaino, Adams and others over the years and, pretty much, they all do a good job. Hell, there are 500 different products available and probably just a few manufacturers. I could probably order some 55 gallons drums of the generic stuff, call it "Wild Bill's Bullshit Car Gloss" add some Old Spice to it to make it smell manly and start my own company. I also used carnuba wax and personally thought that the shine looked......."richer". It just seems to me that the polymer finishes just look too good if that's possible. I've heard you say that wax doesn't last as long but will the gloss equal the synthetic stuff. Does either protect better than the other? Not longer but better.

What would you recommend for very, very minor "scratches" in the finish and what pads would you have me order for the electric polisher. Also, are there any detailing shops within a few hundred miles that you'd recommend. Under hood stuff and all but not using any artificial shiny goop on the engine bay. Just the ole' factory semi-matte made new looking again. It's already real close but has some water spots and such that I'd rather someone with patience can make pretty.

It's all about the patience with me. If I polished, shined, waxed, and buffed and tried to Q-tip every nook and cranny, I'd have to kill someone or something about half way through. Jail time would probably ruin my plans.

Just try to guide me in the righteous path without getting too anal and thanks. We're not all like you.....ain't that right Boys and Girls.:D
 

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....the suspense is killing me. :buhbye:
 

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I should make him wait longer for asking such a long ass question that is going to require me to think. ;)
I figured you would just tell him to go back and watch your videos again. The answers are all buried in there somewhere. :laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I was looking to get a butt rippin' or something and a link to the other 75-100 videos of some guru grinning like a Cheshire cat and calling me "Boy". I've got a yard of dick, a bushel of balls and enough hair on my ass to weave an Indian blanket and he's calling me a boy.:laughing:
 

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OK, AJ....here we go. I've watched some video but not all of them. I don't have 20 years left. If I ever hear someone call me "Boys and Girls" again I'm gonna smack them right in the side of the head.
I will dedicate my next video to you by starting it off with, "Hey boys, girls and crusty old farts!" :D

I need to keep a garage kept 1995 Impala shiny. There are very few, if any, imperfections in the paint. I'm going to get a buffer. I don't want or need, nor can I afford two. Now, very simply please, If I have to only get one would I get the Flex 3401 or the Porter Cable.
If your paint is truly close to perfect, then you won't need the speed or power of the Flex. Thus you can go with the PC. Here's the issue that you are going to have to overcome. If your technique sucks, SO WILL YOUR RESULTS. You have seen how beat up that El Camino was in my videos. You saw me in real time remove a significant amount of damage out of that paint using the PC. The only reason I was able to do that was because I was using a solid technique. With the PC, technique is EVERYTHING. So given the scenario that you have presented, the PC is going to be the cheaper and sufficient polisher for you, as long as you can master the technique that I show and explain in those videos. ;)

Since the Flex has powered rotation it should be faster but will it also be gentle enough if I use the proper pad/pads and the correct compound.
How gentle the Flex can be depends on the person using it. I will say this. The Flex will fix stuff faster but it also removes more clear coat faster. If your paint is as flawless as you claim, you don't need a Flex. Just master the PC, coupled with the right pads and polishes.

Since I have neither the patience or the inclination to spend 40 hours on a wax job speed will be somewhat of an issue.
How long it takes you to remove imperfections depends on how solid your technique is. The Flex in the right hands is going to be more effective but it can be overkill if the damage that you are working on is very light. A PC on the other hand can never be overkill.

I'm also getting older and would rather not die of old age while waxing. I have other plans for my finality and it involves some long legged, big booby, double jointed twins that are into bridles, saddles and cattle prods.
You don't need a polisher to lay wax. If you don't want to spend a lot of time laying wax, then use a carnuba paste wax. They simply wipe on and wipe off. YOU DON'T WAIT FOR THEM TO DRY. If you do, you will need a chisel to remove them.

I have used products like Zaino, Adams and others over the years and, pretty much, they all do a good job. Hell, there are 500 different products available and probably just a few manufacturers.
You don't know how correct you are.

I could probably order some 55 gallons drums of the generic stuff, call it "Wild Bill's Bullshit Car Gloss" add some Old Spice to it to make it smell manly and start my own company.
A LOT of these smaller companies have done that exact same thing.

I also used carnuba wax and personally thought that the shine looked......."richer". It just seems to me that the polymer finishes just look too good if that's possible.
If you put some carnuba paste wax on your paint and the paint looked "better", that's because you never bothered to POLISH the paint BEFORE you smeared wax on it. Wax does not make paint shine, POLISHING does.

Of all the people on earth, you as a jarhead should understand this. Did we wax our boots or polish them to make them shine? Did we wax brass or polish it to make it shine? Did we wax windows or clean and polish them to make them shine? Do you put wax on aluminum wheels or do you polish them to make them shine? Wax is for PROTECTING paint. POLISHING is what makes paint shine. If it didn't, the video of this car wouldn't look as good as it does because there ain't one drop of ANY kind of wax on it. This is what polishing can do.


I've heard you say that wax doesn't last as long...
You didn't hear me say that at all. What you've heard me say over and over again is that wax is NOT for making paint shine, polishing is.


... but will the gloss equal the synthetic stuff. Does either protect better than the other? Not longer but better.
Sealants are the longest lasting protection that you can buy. They also take the longest amount of time to apply with curing times lasting up to 36 hours. Waxes do not last as long but are a hell of a lot simpler and quicker to apply. The longer the protection, the better it is for the paint. There is no such animal as "not longer, but better." Longer IS better, the end.

What would you recommend for very, very minor "scratches" in the finish and what pads would you have me order for the electric polisher.
The same exact polishes and pads that I cover in video 2 of my machine polishes for novices video. I ain't even going to list that here, you got to watch that video for that as I go into specific detail on what to get and where to get it.

Also, are there any detailing shops within a few hundred miles that you'd recommend.
Not one that I know of. I don't know anyone who is in business to make money who would do what I do to paint, except two guys who's prices you would NOT want to see. One of them works for sheikhs in Dubai.

Under hood stuff and all but not using any artificial shiny goop on the engine bay. Just the ole' factory semi-matte made new looking again. It's already real close but has some water spots and such that I'd rather someone with patience can make pretty.
You're on your own there. I don't use any kind of dressing under my hood. I wash the engine and dry it. I them wipe everything down with either Optimum or Gary Dean's detail spray. Soap will remove water spots unless you have left them on something for years with no protection.

It's all about the patience with me. If I polished, shined, waxed, and buffed and tried to Q-tip every nook and cranny, I'd have to kill someone or something about half way through. Jail time would probably ruin my plans.
Then curb your expectation level of excellence. You ain't gonna get perfection or anything close to it with one bottle of some miracle product and a cheap rag. Just like building a house, the foundation you lay is 90% of how good the final product will be. Remember, you don't have to all this stuff in one day or in one sitting. I took a month to do that black car. I take my sweet ass time whenever I detail a car. That's why I will never do it for a living.

Just try to guide me in the righteous path without getting too anal and thanks. We're not all like you.....ain't that right Boys and Girls.:D
You now have all the information you need to reach the level of satisfaction that YOU want. At this point, you make all the calls. ;)
 

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I figured you would just tell him to go back and watch your videos again. The answers are all buried in there somewhere. :laughing:
I decided to be nice since I ain't doing much today and I just found out that Louisville is imposing a self ban on their post season this year. Looks like I'll be making videos of this year's games to watch during March Madness. :(
 

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I decided to be nice since I ain't doing much today and I just found out that Louisville is imposing a self ban on their post season this year. Looks like I'll be making videos of this year's games to watch during March Madness. :(
That was disappointing. They have a helluva team this year.
 

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Yea, and they put on a dunk fest Wednesday night. Good game and the crowd was electric!!

 

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Yea the way Donavon Mitchell gets up reminds me of LaBradford Smith, Billy Thompson, Rodney McCray and even Mr. Griffith.:partyon:
You forgot Eric Johnson. He was a small guard who had hops too!
 
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