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DIVORCE AGREEMENT



Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and ********. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.



We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country....
 

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:agree:


Who needs the Old Bag anyway … used, abused and sagging like warn out rubber.

Bring on the 21 year olds … and let’s get this party started.

Progressives all the way! :thumbsup:

Because Changes Happens :laughing:
 

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Sounds fair enough... 5 years they will all be dead from starvation and we get the rest of the land mass then too..
 

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:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
I believe therein lies the wisdom of secession.
 

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Sounds fair enough... 5 years they will all be dead from starvation and we get the rest of the land mass then too..
They won't die from starvation, they will eat each other like they do now. They will tolerate themselves to death.
 

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Better start making Babies … :rolling:
 

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Better start making Babies … :rolling:
No problem. Ours won't be aborted, or born as crack babies.
On the other hand you'll have plenty of anchor babies and illegal alien parents to support.

Should be fun to watch. But I'll do it from my side of the wall.

Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you all just take Mexico. It's got all your progressive ideals working in full force. It will be your Utopia.
 

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No problem. Ours won't be aborted, or born as crack babies.
On the other hand you'll have plenty of anchor babies and illegal alien parents to support.

Should be fun to watch. But I'll do it from my side of the wall.

Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you all just take Mexico. It's got all your progressive ideals working in full force. It will be your Utopia.
:thumbsup: Wish in one hand and crap in the other … we will see. ;)
 
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